Question: The more I read about this, the more disconnected I feel from the people around me. It’s probably ego talking, but even though, not that long ago, “I” was one of “them”, it seems so stupid now to live life the way they do and not care about this tremendously important subject. But even besides that, I just find I can’t connect with others anymore, even worse than I was already unable to. They aren’t interested in that which moves me most, which fascinates me most.
I don’t think it need to be our values, ideas and opinions that connects us to other human beings. I think it’s the willingness to disengage in all of that and instead let life move on its own accord that allows for the most intimate form of connection to others.
But in order to do that one must first develop some basic trust. I’ve already written about moving from an intentionless place, but before you transition to that, here’s a quick primer on what you can start doing right now, from the top of my head:
There’s a basic conflict in the ordinary human way of being; between what one wants to do, and what one thinks he ought to do. When these two are in alignment, we experience effortlessness and flow – but when they’re not, we experience distress, anxiety and fear.
But we need to realize that our idea of what we should do is a terrible guide for navigating the dreamstate. It’s motivated by fear, not trust.
Instead, we can shift into another attitude – namely, that when the sense of wanting to do something arises, we view that as the universe informing us of what we really should be doing.
In other words, we no longer let ourselves be guided by what we think we should do, but what we want to do.
Simple, right? Stop doing what you think you should be doing, and start doing what you want to do.
Now, sometimes it’s not so easy to tell the difference between these two. Sometimes we are so confused that we believe that our ideas of what we should be doing in fact are what we want to do, when they’re really not.
So, how do we distinguish between our ideas of what we should be doing and our ‘true’ desire?
Well, anything that suggests that you should be doing something, or having something, in the future is definitely not your true desire right now. So, if you think you should really be working towards getting a Ferrari, but right now you wanna sit in your couch, then your true desire is to sit in the couch, not having a Ferrari. And if these two are in conflict—for instance, you blaming yourself for being such a lazy bum—then you need to be a little more humble and show some respect for the wishes of the totality – cause right now, it wants to spend some time in the couch, and who are you to question that, right?
The key is to listen to what you want right now. Want to take a step in this direction? Want to say that particular thing? Want to think about this now? And if you don’t feel anything – if you don’t want anything in particular right now; then that’s the universe telling you to do nothing. It doesn’t matter if you’re standing by yourself in the middle of the dance floor, half drooling like an idiot – if something doesn’t come up, you don’t move.
And before you say it – if those bills are supposed to be paid, there will come a time when you want to pay them.
Now, if you’d let yourself be guided like this you’ll soon see a new way of being emerging. A way of trust, not fear.
And when you move like this you always know what to do, because you just do what you want to do, in this moment.
And once this become your new way of being you’ll now move from a place that allows you to effortlessly connect with others (if the indication to do so arises) – because any notion of what you should be doing are no longer obstructing the natural flow of things.
Sorta. Worth a try at least, right?